The Grewals: Typically Desi

I'm definitely not hating here before I get my head bitten off BUT I am saying that the stars of Channel 4's second series of The Family, the Grewals are a tad too typical in my books.
You'd think that in 2009 there would be a British Indian family where the father doesn't order his wife about like a servant, barking "cup of tea" and the sort while she obeys his commands.
You'd also think that the day of the overly obedient daughter-in-law that cuts her saas'/saasu's/ma-in-law's toenails and threads her father-in-law's nose hairs was very much over.
Call me a coconut if you will but I thought squashing the whole family into one house stopped in the late 80's. I really think Channel 4 should have done some more research or looked at a family that was more 2009 rather than 1989.
In these times of rising BNP influence and mutlicultural Britain misunderstanding its neighbours, a family that isn't a stereotype might have opened a few minds instead of playing to the old stereotypes a la Masood or in this example, Grewal.

The Adil Ray Show...

I've been listening to the BBC Asian Network for about 5 years now and I've got to say the whole station is a fantastic concept.

My personal favourite shows are Nikki Bedi, Friction, the beginning pure bhangra part of Sonnyji's show and last but not least Adil Ray.

For me this guy single-handedly separates the men from the boys in Asian radio. Personally I think he's built for bigger things e.g. the Radio 1 breakfast slot.

Don't get me wrong I'm not one of those weirdo fans that camps outside his house or anything, in fact I've only called in once and text in twice the whole time I've been tuning in. What actually made me write this is a new job I've recently started.

When Adil moved from Drivetime to Breakfast, I stopped listening every day and listened back to about one show per week due to the early time slot. Since working this new (and may I add incredibly boring) job, I have the privilege of being allowed to listen to music on the job. Luckily for me my mobile has the iplayer software on it so I can catch up with my favourite Asian Network shows, as well as Eastenders, Panorama etc!

Listening to Adil on breakfast is definitely an uplifting experience for people like me who are like 100 year old zombies first thing in the morning. What really surprised me was how versatile he could be, catering for a drivetime audience one minute and then a breakfast one the next. Putting antics such as his prank calls, Nakami (adopted monkey from Malawi) and Karachi FM aside, his ability to make jokes out of anything is where I think his best gift lies.

It's gotten to the point where I'm listening to a show and I nearly bite the head off of any colleague who dares interrupt my listening time! I actually laugh out loud - something which I haven't done since the days of Goodness Gracious Me.

I don't want to feed his ego or anything but he's doing really well and I hope he keeps it up. I just feel it's a bit of a shame that his skills are currently restricted to one audience. Someone should get him on a Radio 1 slot, a lot of their daytime shows are getting VERY tired these days!

If you haven't heard an Adil Ray show before, tune in seriously, I've gotten friends Asian and non-Asian alike to tune in and each time they end up getting hooked.

Currently, he's doing the later breakfast slot of 7-10am.

Damn, I've just realised I've written the above post like I'm head of the Asian Network's programming or Adil's mother, I can assure you I'm neither. Check it out, this is just straight up appreciation!

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Contact us if interested!

Slumdog Millionaire: The Review (Spoiler)

Wow. What a film. A hot score by A.R.Rahman. A looong list of awards and an international following makes this a definite "one to watch."

Indian "Slum" films seem to be rising in number and I'm not complaining. Each one shows the real Mumbai from a different viewpoint. Slumdog differs. How?

Instead of just showing the gritty streets of Mumbai, the poverty, the life of children, gangs, etc Slumdog is intertwined with a story.

Not just any story either, one that people in over 100 countries will be able to understand/laugh at. Jamal Malik (Dev Patel), a teen who grew up in the slums, is accused of cheating on the Indian version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

The first scenes show Jamal being tortured by the police in an attempt to get a confession out of him. After allowing a few beatings and an electric shock, the head police officer, played by Irrfan Khan, tries the more diplomatic approach of listening.

He asks Jamal what the whole country is thinking; how can a slum boy know the answers to questions that doctors and lawyers can't even answer? Questions such as "What does Lord Rama hold in his right hand," and "Who's face is on the $100 bill?" Jamal goes through each question with a backstory of how he knows the answer.

For those that haven't seen the film I won't go into the most important question regarding the Three Muskateers.

Aside from explaining how he knows the answers, Jamal's interesting life story is also inevitably told. You begin to question, would a slum teen actually know the answers to the questions on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire or is the whole story slightly far-fetched. Is he really cheating and just lying his way through the police interrogation? If you pick a random slum teenager they probably could answer some of the questions posed with the same logic used by young Jamal.

The fact that the above, although a major coincidence, could happen makes me love this underdog story. The fluke, the backstories and the love tale allow this film to stand next to some of my other slum favourites namely, D, Salaam Bombay, Traffic Signal and Chandni Bar.

The one qualm I do have with this film is that I like many others would like to know how much "directing" Danny Boyle actually did. I believe Loveleen Tandan did a great job as Co-Director and the Danny Boyle name has helped give this film the publicity it needs in the UK and US.

The Undercover Princes - BBC3

Arguably, one of the most prominent gay personas present in India, Gujarat's own, Prince Mahendra (43) is set to hit UK screens along side Prince Africa Zulu (Zulu, South Africa) and Prince Remigius (Sri Lanka) in BBC3 show - The Undercover Princes.

Set in a snug terrace on Brighton beach, the three princes will be taking everyday jobs, ditching their servants and hoping to find true love.

Hiding the fact that they are loaded and more importantly, royalty, the three singles will hit up clubs, bars, speed dating nights and other venues frequented by the young and free.

Hailing from Rajpipla, Gujarat, Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil has already appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show back in 2007 in the featured show "Gay Around the World."

He was recently cut-off from the family fortune and disowned by his mother for coming out. A little while after he was welcomed back!

The prince is currently one of India's well known gay rights activists and an AIDs awareness campaigners.

Though campaigners have managed to strengthen their plea to decriminalise homosexuality, it still remains illegal under an old British law and a taboo subject throughout Indian society.

Either way, the show looks promising, I just hope this time round, India's export doesn't get involved in any major rows *cough* Shilpa *cough*

Indian's without drama? It's possible...

India stop cricket tour...

About the Pakistan tour...
Its politically the right thing to do.

If a country you believe trains terrorists and sends them over to blow up one of your prized cities and then wants to play cricket with you, would you do it?

Sending the players over to such a volatile nation especially at a time like this would be asking for trouble. Imagine if the next headline you read would say "Indian Cricket Team die in Pakistani bomb blasts....Pakistan denies any involvement"

This is about more than cricket and we should stop being selfish just because we want to see the games.

India is still being far too diplomatic, they should have stopped ALL activities with Pakistan as soon as they found out where young Ajmal was from.

This should continue until Pakistani society condemns their army and ISI for sponsoring terror against India and stops the killing of innocent lives. The usual "Pakistan is also a victim" is getting tired. It is their creation and they should do something about it or I predict more than cricket will be taken away from them.

What'll be next India's support for rising Pakistani films, filmstars and singers?

Mumbai attacks, Initial thoughts...

I was born in the UK, I've lived there my whole life. However, I have made many trips to the country closest to my heart, India. I love the UK as it is the country that raised me, but I have a strong(er?) affinity to India as it is my country of origin and the reason my skin is brown!

At the time of the recent 26/11 attacks in Mumbai, I happened to be in India (luckily not in Mumbai). When I woke up out of my comfy and relatively safe bed in Delhi, I saw my dad had his eyes glued to biased news channel NDTV.

As soon as I saw what was going on, I like the rest of the country felt a series of emotions for Mumbai and India.

The first and foremost was the obvious anger. Secondly violation. Thirdly a sense of hopelessness.

Anger: My anger came from the fact that again India had been held helpless to another terrorist threat. After all these times since partition why does the country allow this to happen time and time again? It just seems that whatever the government, terrorism is not taken seriously.

Violation: 10-25 people brought one of the world's largest cities to it's knees. A shopkeeper in Delhi said to me; if 20 terrorists can turn Mumbai to a complete standstill, then 100 terrorists would probably take down the whole of India!

Hopelessness: It's been just over a week since the attacks and the usual lazy and worthless attitude of the government is starting to show again. The results of the state elections will be out soon, Desmukh has gone - people think some action is being taken. Mr. Pranab says "We do not want to take military action against Pakistan, he then gives the list of 20 of India's wanted terrorists - a list which has been sent back and forth godknows how many times. Condelizza Rice came to do what politicians do best, talk and smile. Russia signed a nuclear deal. Things slowly seem to be going back to normal. The same corrupt, lazy individuals are getting away with lining their pockets and doing nothing.

The only way forward now is to unite and do something to show the government India is serious.

Obama vs McCain I know its not really Desi but...

...It still affects the world whether you live in the US or not.

I personally am of the opinion that I don't care if he's half black or not, can he run the country well and can his policies help to make the world a better place?

Of course it would do the US good to have a black president but I really believe there are global issues as well as domestic e.g. recession that require addressing asap.

Looking at the policies of both I'm edging towards Obama mainly because of;

1. He is not Republican - The world and the US seem to be saying enough is enough.
2. He seems like he wants to change America's stance on Iraq, Iran and Russia in a more diplomatic manner.
3. I like his stance on healthcare for all which is a big problem in the US.

The only downside I see is that he is inexperienced but in his defence his campaign seems to have been run well, his senate record is liberal which is something of a refreshing change.

Either way whoever wins its going to be historic, the US will either have the oldest President (McCain, 72) to start his first term and if he is sworn in, the first female Vice President OR as we all know unless your living on Mars, the first black president.

Good Desi Music ? (mainly UK Bhangra)

The scene has dried up again,

Sure Groundshaker 2 was a short term fix and the odd hits from MC Special and Gupsy have got me through the cold January weeks but its definitely not like it was before.

Even Bollywood joints are scarce at the moment...can someone bring some sunshine into this bleak winter!

Who is everyone listening to out there? Any recommendations?

Local Asian Community Events

asian community events

 

So I just got back from attending a milestone celebration for my local community.

Now I hadn't been to any of these in effing ages till today. Probably since I did a dance with my cousins when I was like 8.

 

People my age are very skeptical about going to these events as they're known for being one or more of the following:

 

1. Boring

2. Poorly organised, with poor use of English throughout

3. The same old sh*t

4. No people your age go so there's no one except little kids, those loser teens who get forced to go by their parents and old people.

 

So the other week I saw one of the committee leaders while on the train to Brick Lane, he was convinced my view of these kinds of events was out dated and wrong.

 

So after about 1hr and 45 minutes of arguing with him I gave in and promised an appearance for the celebrations of our local society.

 

So I woke up today at 1pm after a long Saturday night and already had a bombardment of warning texts on my phone.

 

They read something like this: Don't bother coming. It's rubbish, I've been here 2 minutes and I'm already bored.

 

I ignored the texts and was determined to make my own mind up.

 

I get there about half way through, the committee leader guy was happy I carried out my promise of actually showing up, in the hall it was the usual rush and scramble for seats.

 

So as I walked in there's the usual woman babbling on about togetherness using very bad English (Please note this woman was born and educated in the UK!), using words like impose instead of improvise etc

 

The first show was a dance/fashion show medley by some kids I'd never seen before. The effort was good, the product stank of the usual IMPOSITION of the adults limiting creative freedom!

 

The rest of the dances/plays carried suit.

 

 

After a couple of hours of being there, I made my exit. There were still a few more speeches/dances but I'd seen enough.

 

I feel so sorry for those kids! I guess the comitee is like a lot of organisations where the top level members are set in their ways and have no vision for change.

 

From this point I'm making it my mission to turn things around!

 

I'll keep you posted!!

Islamic Pickup Lines

islamic pickup lines,jokes

You may have seen these floating around the net, if not take a gander, there's a couple of funny ones in the list!

Islamic Pickup lines(for all you guys/gals out there)

Feel free to add any of your own - including Sikh/Hindu/Christian etc

1. I'm looking for the "Made In Jannah" tag

2. Are those legs halal?

3.OMG!! I just saw part of your hair, now your obligated to marry me..

4. Wanna pray in jamaat? shoulder to shoulder, feet to feet?"

5.wanna date? i bought a whole box when i went to madinah"

6. Marry me so I don't have to lower my gaze everytime you walk into the room..

7. Girl you fine, I see that praying 5 times a day has really payed off

8. Girl when i saw you i said mashallah, then i said inshallah

9. Would you like to help me wake up for Fajr?

10. Are you a Shiite? Because when I saw you, I said to myself, "She aiight"

11.You’re so fine, I wanna marry you, get 10 kids with you and pray domestic jamaah for the rest of our lives.

12. "U thief. u know, its wrong to steal in islam"
"how am i a thief?"
"u stole my heart"

13. Are your feet tired? Because you've been performing Tawaaf in my mind all day long?

14. How would you like to help me fulfill half of my deen?

15. "Nice ankles. Very nice"

16. Girl...I know its haraam "paying" so much "interest" in you...but I can't help myself...

17.wanna ride shotgun on my camel?

18.Girl you fine, TAKBEER

19. Girl you're so hot, you make Shaytan sweat.

20. You are the noor of my eyes.

21. Hey do you want to pray together? Should I call you or Nudge you?
22.Your face shines with so much noor that it could launch a thousand (Jihadi) ships
23. Have your ammi call my ammi
24. You are the reason hijab was mandated.
25. You are the coolness of my eyes.
26. I didn't trip over my robe, I fell for you.
27. You're so beautiful, You would make hur-al-ayn jealous.
28. I have some sort of sickness but Allah*swt* has created a cure, thats you.
29. Sister, I'm not drunk, just intoxicated by you.
30. Any cup of water that you pour for me will taste like Zam Zam.
31. The noor on your face is soo strong, I think I'm going to go blind!
32. "Hey I'm a nice muslim boy and you seem like a nice muslim girl, so what do you say we make a halal match?"
32.Allah created everything in pairs, so what are you doing single?
33.Sister For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
34.Our parents engaged us when we were little, they must have forgotten to tell you.
35.I'd like to be more than just your brother in Islam.
36.To watch you pray is a sin of its own.
37.Will my platinum VISA cover your dowry?
38.You can't play basketball with a hijab on, marry me, and we will go one-on-one our entire life.
39. Muslims are supposed to have many children, and I am willing to do my part...
40. Will you help the cause of the Ummah by helping me fulfill my deen?
41.What school of thought do you follow because I thought about you all through school.
42.Do you believe in the hereafter? Oh you do? Then you know what I'm hereafter.
43.It must be Laylatul Qadr. Because that's the night that angels come down from Heaven.
44.I've had to fast every day since the day that I first saw you.
45.I must have died a shaheed and gone to heaven because you are my 72 virgins all in one.
46.I know Halal meat does a body good, but damn, how much you been eatin.
47.Would you like to share my prayer-mat?
48.I'm not sure of the Nikah process. Can you help me through it?
49.I just made dua for YOU
50.I think I just lost my wudu by the sight of you.
51. I'm not staring, I'm just enjoying my first and only allowed look.
52.Sister, you are a hijabi fitnah.
53.I'm new here, can you take me to the closest masjid?
54.You make me realise why we're asked to lower our gaze so much
55.I love the way your Abaya flows when you walk
56.I dont need mahr...YOU are my mahr
57.Do u remember me?...from the alam al-arwah?
58.Is it me or is it getting a lil halal in here?
59.Assalamu alaikum, so what time does a hur al-ayn like you have to be back in paradise?
60.Black is definately your color.
61.Girl if lookin at u is gunnah then i don't want to get any sawab
62.Your father must be a printer cuz your picture has been plastered in my mind all day (not even islamic, lame but funny... so enjoy)
63. (If you don't get this, you can ask the person)
"Baby did you just have eggplant? Because you're BANGAN"

Hard Kaur gets Choice FM & Movie Spin

hard kaur choice fm,supawoman,hard kaur film

Instead of making two entries on Hard Kaur, I'll do the two birds with one stone thingy.

Firstly congrats to Hard Kaur for getting her first spin on Choice FM. She's usually known for bagging plays on the Asian Network but has now crossed over and won her first bit of non asian radio play. Well Done.

Next, here's something you probably didn't see coming, Hard Kaur will be making her acting debut with "die hard fan" Aditya Bhattacharya directing. The film will be based on her life and struggles. Aditya has long been a fan of Hard Kaur and is looking to start production this year...

Interesting?

English Words...Indian Origin, The List

english words of indian origin,english-indian words

Ok, so we all know about Shampoo and Veranda. (See below 3:10 into the vid!)

Aside from the above, theres a fairly large list of English words that have Indian origin. Why do I care you ask? Well it's Monday for starters, you know the most fun packed day of the week(!)

Anyway lets get to it (thanks to Answers.com)...

Hindi words

bangle  from bāngṛī बांगड़ी, a type of bracelet

bazaar  from bāzār बाज़ार, a marketplace

blighty  from vilāyatī विलायती, foreigner caravan  from kārvān कारवाँ, moving house

chai  from chāy चाय, tea made with spices, commonly cardamom chit  from chitthi, a letter or note

cot  from khāt, खाट, a portable bed

loot  from lūtnā लूटना, to loot

pukka  from pakkā पक्का, cooked, ripe, solid

sentry  from Santri, an armed guard

sepoy  from Sepahi, a soldier

shampoo  from champu, a scalp massage

thug  from thag ठग, meaning thief

teapoy  from Tipaya, a three legged stool

toddy  from tārī ताड़ी, juice of the palmyra palm

pajama  from Payjamo, a garment worn as a trouser

jungle  from jungle, another word for forest

kamarband  from Kamar Bandh, meaning waist band or waist cloth

Other Words

• Bandicoot, from pandikoku (Telugu)
• Dhole, from tOla (Kannada)
• Doolally, "mad, insane" from the town of Deolali, where British officers were said to develop a strange mental illness
• Mongoose, from mungeesa (Telugu) or mungusi (Kannada)
• Calico, from Calicut, a town and district of Kerala, (Malayalam)
• Coir, from kayar, (Malayalam as well as Tamil, most probably Malayalam)
• Copra, from koppara, (Tamil as well as Malayalam)
• Jack fruit from Chakka, (Malayalam )
• Mango, from maanga (Tamil as well as Malayalam)
• Teak, from taekku (Tamil as well as Malayalam)
• Jute (Bengali)
• Pajamas (Hindustani)
• Polo (Balti)
• Bungalow from Bungla (Urdu) (lit. a house in the Bengal style) - a large house, typically with a sloping, tiled roof
• Shampoo from Champi (Hindi) - A head massage with some kind of oil or treacly mixture just before a bath
• Atoll from Maldivian - ring of coral enclosing a lagoon
• Curry from Tamil
• Catamaran from "kattumaram" - Tamil and Malayalam
• Tourmaline, from tōramallī (Sinhala) - cornelian, tourmaline

So yeah now you know these words, you can use them, impress your dad or grandad who are forever banging on about how all these (useless?) words are Indian (or is that just something that happens in our family !)

If you know anymore...feel free to drop them here!

CIA: Al Qaeda killed Bhutto

CIA head honcho Michael Hayden has revealed that Bhutto was killed by fighters allied to Baitullah Mehsud in conjunction with Al Qaeda.

Mehsud has denied any involvement in the attack. The Pakistani government said it has a tapped phone call proving he was behind the assasination.

He was rumoured to have been behind the previous suicide bomb attack on 18 October 2007, something which he also denies. Something which he does not deny however was his dislike for Bhutto's pro American views. Again same with Musharraf.

Al Qaeda have been linked with Mehsud in the past, and rumours of him hiding Bin Laden have been circulated time and time again.

Sure he has links with the Taleban and is a known ruthless mofo, but was it him?

Anti Musharraf, Anti USA is that why Hayden believes Mehsud was the man? Or is it because he really does have the capabilities to carry out a killing of this kind...

Gujarati Justice?

gujarat riots,convictions

13 people were convicted today in connection with their part in the 2002 Gujarat riots.

A policeman was found to be among the guilty in the convicted handful of men who participated in the mass killing of 1000-2000 of Gujarat's Muslims.

Bilkis Bano, a 29 year old gang rape victim was a key witness in the trial. Her family members were massacred in the Dahod District of Gujarat where they were trying to flee a riot. She only managed to survive when the attackers assumed her dead. She was seven months pregnant at the time.

The sentences will be dished out on Monday where prosecutors have been calling for the death penalty.

This has been the second Gujarat riot case to be moved to Mumbai for a fair trial.

Justice?

Govinda's Pimp Slap!

So Govinda, not exactly known as contraversial (by bollywood standards), decides to lay the smack down on a trouble maker causing a stir on the set of the up coming Money Hai to Honey Hai, in which Govinda boasts the lead role.

The comedian/politician apparantly dished out the man sized thappar and has said the nuisance maker got what he deserved.

Star News apparantly had the video on loop (I'll have to ask my nana and nani) all day and was one of the big headlines of the day. I guess it's true what they say about comedians, off screen/stage they really can be serious mofos.

I wish I was there.

Desi Chin Wag

Welcome to the Desi Chin Wag Blog

DCW is here to info-tain on all desi related issues, incidents and stories.

I'm here to give you something different, an alternative look on desi culture. So stay tuned, keep it locked and keep it desi!