Local Asian Community Events

asian community events

 

So I just got back from attending a milestone celebration for my local community.

Now I hadn't been to any of these in effing ages till today. Probably since I did a dance with my cousins when I was like 8.

 

People my age are very skeptical about going to these events as they're known for being one or more of the following:

 

1. Boring

2. Poorly organised, with poor use of English throughout

3. The same old sh*t

4. No people your age go so there's no one except little kids, those loser teens who get forced to go by their parents and old people.

 

So the other week I saw one of the committee leaders while on the train to Brick Lane, he was convinced my view of these kinds of events was out dated and wrong.

 

So after about 1hr and 45 minutes of arguing with him I gave in and promised an appearance for the celebrations of our local society.

 

So I woke up today at 1pm after a long Saturday night and already had a bombardment of warning texts on my phone.

 

They read something like this: Don't bother coming. It's rubbish, I've been here 2 minutes and I'm already bored.

 

I ignored the texts and was determined to make my own mind up.

 

I get there about half way through, the committee leader guy was happy I carried out my promise of actually showing up, in the hall it was the usual rush and scramble for seats.

 

So as I walked in there's the usual woman babbling on about togetherness using very bad English (Please note this woman was born and educated in the UK!), using words like impose instead of improvise etc

 

The first show was a dance/fashion show medley by some kids I'd never seen before. The effort was good, the product stank of the usual IMPOSITION of the adults limiting creative freedom!

 

The rest of the dances/plays carried suit.

 

 

After a couple of hours of being there, I made my exit. There were still a few more speeches/dances but I'd seen enough.

 

I feel so sorry for those kids! I guess the comitee is like a lot of organisations where the top level members are set in their ways and have no vision for change.

 

From this point I'm making it my mission to turn things around!

 

I'll keep you posted!!

Islamic Pickup Lines

islamic pickup lines,jokes

You may have seen these floating around the net, if not take a gander, there's a couple of funny ones in the list!

Islamic Pickup lines(for all you guys/gals out there)

Feel free to add any of your own - including Sikh/Hindu/Christian etc

1. I'm looking for the "Made In Jannah" tag

2. Are those legs halal?

3.OMG!! I just saw part of your hair, now your obligated to marry me..

4. Wanna pray in jamaat? shoulder to shoulder, feet to feet?"

5.wanna date? i bought a whole box when i went to madinah"

6. Marry me so I don't have to lower my gaze everytime you walk into the room..

7. Girl you fine, I see that praying 5 times a day has really payed off

8. Girl when i saw you i said mashallah, then i said inshallah

9. Would you like to help me wake up for Fajr?

10. Are you a Shiite? Because when I saw you, I said to myself, "She aiight"

11.You’re so fine, I wanna marry you, get 10 kids with you and pray domestic jamaah for the rest of our lives.

12. "U thief. u know, its wrong to steal in islam"
"how am i a thief?"
"u stole my heart"

13. Are your feet tired? Because you've been performing Tawaaf in my mind all day long?

14. How would you like to help me fulfill half of my deen?

15. "Nice ankles. Very nice"

16. Girl...I know its haraam "paying" so much "interest" in you...but I can't help myself...

17.wanna ride shotgun on my camel?

18.Girl you fine, TAKBEER

19. Girl you're so hot, you make Shaytan sweat.

20. You are the noor of my eyes.

21. Hey do you want to pray together? Should I call you or Nudge you?
22.Your face shines with so much noor that it could launch a thousand (Jihadi) ships
23. Have your ammi call my ammi
24. You are the reason hijab was mandated.
25. You are the coolness of my eyes.
26. I didn't trip over my robe, I fell for you.
27. You're so beautiful, You would make hur-al-ayn jealous.
28. I have some sort of sickness but Allah*swt* has created a cure, thats you.
29. Sister, I'm not drunk, just intoxicated by you.
30. Any cup of water that you pour for me will taste like Zam Zam.
31. The noor on your face is soo strong, I think I'm going to go blind!
32. "Hey I'm a nice muslim boy and you seem like a nice muslim girl, so what do you say we make a halal match?"
32.Allah created everything in pairs, so what are you doing single?
33.Sister For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
34.Our parents engaged us when we were little, they must have forgotten to tell you.
35.I'd like to be more than just your brother in Islam.
36.To watch you pray is a sin of its own.
37.Will my platinum VISA cover your dowry?
38.You can't play basketball with a hijab on, marry me, and we will go one-on-one our entire life.
39. Muslims are supposed to have many children, and I am willing to do my part...
40. Will you help the cause of the Ummah by helping me fulfill my deen?
41.What school of thought do you follow because I thought about you all through school.
42.Do you believe in the hereafter? Oh you do? Then you know what I'm hereafter.
43.It must be Laylatul Qadr. Because that's the night that angels come down from Heaven.
44.I've had to fast every day since the day that I first saw you.
45.I must have died a shaheed and gone to heaven because you are my 72 virgins all in one.
46.I know Halal meat does a body good, but damn, how much you been eatin.
47.Would you like to share my prayer-mat?
48.I'm not sure of the Nikah process. Can you help me through it?
49.I just made dua for YOU
50.I think I just lost my wudu by the sight of you.
51. I'm not staring, I'm just enjoying my first and only allowed look.
52.Sister, you are a hijabi fitnah.
53.I'm new here, can you take me to the closest masjid?
54.You make me realise why we're asked to lower our gaze so much
55.I love the way your Abaya flows when you walk
56.I dont need mahr...YOU are my mahr
57.Do u remember me?...from the alam al-arwah?
58.Is it me or is it getting a lil halal in here?
59.Assalamu alaikum, so what time does a hur al-ayn like you have to be back in paradise?
60.Black is definately your color.
61.Girl if lookin at u is gunnah then i don't want to get any sawab
62.Your father must be a printer cuz your picture has been plastered in my mind all day (not even islamic, lame but funny... so enjoy)
63. (If you don't get this, you can ask the person)
"Baby did you just have eggplant? Because you're BANGAN"

Hard Kaur gets Choice FM & Movie Spin

hard kaur choice fm,supawoman,hard kaur film

Instead of making two entries on Hard Kaur, I'll do the two birds with one stone thingy.

Firstly congrats to Hard Kaur for getting her first spin on Choice FM. She's usually known for bagging plays on the Asian Network but has now crossed over and won her first bit of non asian radio play. Well Done.

Next, here's something you probably didn't see coming, Hard Kaur will be making her acting debut with "die hard fan" Aditya Bhattacharya directing. The film will be based on her life and struggles. Aditya has long been a fan of Hard Kaur and is looking to start production this year...

Interesting?

English Words...Indian Origin, The List

english words of indian origin,english-indian words

Ok, so we all know about Shampoo and Veranda. (See below 3:10 into the vid!)

Aside from the above, theres a fairly large list of English words that have Indian origin. Why do I care you ask? Well it's Monday for starters, you know the most fun packed day of the week(!)

Anyway lets get to it (thanks to Answers.com)...

Hindi words

bangle  from bāngṛī बांगड़ी, a type of bracelet

bazaar  from bāzār बाज़ार, a marketplace

blighty  from vilāyatī विलायती, foreigner caravan  from kārvān कारवाँ, moving house

chai  from chāy चाय, tea made with spices, commonly cardamom chit  from chitthi, a letter or note

cot  from khāt, खाट, a portable bed

loot  from lūtnā लूटना, to loot

pukka  from pakkā पक्का, cooked, ripe, solid

sentry  from Santri, an armed guard

sepoy  from Sepahi, a soldier

shampoo  from champu, a scalp massage

thug  from thag ठग, meaning thief

teapoy  from Tipaya, a three legged stool

toddy  from tārī ताड़ी, juice of the palmyra palm

pajama  from Payjamo, a garment worn as a trouser

jungle  from jungle, another word for forest

kamarband  from Kamar Bandh, meaning waist band or waist cloth

Other Words

• Bandicoot, from pandikoku (Telugu)
• Dhole, from tOla (Kannada)
• Doolally, "mad, insane" from the town of Deolali, where British officers were said to develop a strange mental illness
• Mongoose, from mungeesa (Telugu) or mungusi (Kannada)
• Calico, from Calicut, a town and district of Kerala, (Malayalam)
• Coir, from kayar, (Malayalam as well as Tamil, most probably Malayalam)
• Copra, from koppara, (Tamil as well as Malayalam)
• Jack fruit from Chakka, (Malayalam )
• Mango, from maanga (Tamil as well as Malayalam)
• Teak, from taekku (Tamil as well as Malayalam)
• Jute (Bengali)
• Pajamas (Hindustani)
• Polo (Balti)
• Bungalow from Bungla (Urdu) (lit. a house in the Bengal style) - a large house, typically with a sloping, tiled roof
• Shampoo from Champi (Hindi) - A head massage with some kind of oil or treacly mixture just before a bath
• Atoll from Maldivian - ring of coral enclosing a lagoon
• Curry from Tamil
• Catamaran from "kattumaram" - Tamil and Malayalam
• Tourmaline, from tōramallī (Sinhala) - cornelian, tourmaline

So yeah now you know these words, you can use them, impress your dad or grandad who are forever banging on about how all these (useless?) words are Indian (or is that just something that happens in our family !)

If you know anymore...feel free to drop them here!

CIA: Al Qaeda killed Bhutto

CIA head honcho Michael Hayden has revealed that Bhutto was killed by fighters allied to Baitullah Mehsud in conjunction with Al Qaeda.

Mehsud has denied any involvement in the attack. The Pakistani government said it has a tapped phone call proving he was behind the assasination.

He was rumoured to have been behind the previous suicide bomb attack on 18 October 2007, something which he also denies. Something which he does not deny however was his dislike for Bhutto's pro American views. Again same with Musharraf.

Al Qaeda have been linked with Mehsud in the past, and rumours of him hiding Bin Laden have been circulated time and time again.

Sure he has links with the Taleban and is a known ruthless mofo, but was it him?

Anti Musharraf, Anti USA is that why Hayden believes Mehsud was the man? Or is it because he really does have the capabilities to carry out a killing of this kind...

Gujarati Justice?

gujarat riots,convictions

13 people were convicted today in connection with their part in the 2002 Gujarat riots.

A policeman was found to be among the guilty in the convicted handful of men who participated in the mass killing of 1000-2000 of Gujarat's Muslims.

Bilkis Bano, a 29 year old gang rape victim was a key witness in the trial. Her family members were massacred in the Dahod District of Gujarat where they were trying to flee a riot. She only managed to survive when the attackers assumed her dead. She was seven months pregnant at the time.

The sentences will be dished out on Monday where prosecutors have been calling for the death penalty.

This has been the second Gujarat riot case to be moved to Mumbai for a fair trial.

Justice?

Govinda's Pimp Slap!

So Govinda, not exactly known as contraversial (by bollywood standards), decides to lay the smack down on a trouble maker causing a stir on the set of the up coming Money Hai to Honey Hai, in which Govinda boasts the lead role.

The comedian/politician apparantly dished out the man sized thappar and has said the nuisance maker got what he deserved.

Star News apparantly had the video on loop (I'll have to ask my nana and nani) all day and was one of the big headlines of the day. I guess it's true what they say about comedians, off screen/stage they really can be serious mofos.

I wish I was there.

Desi Chin Wag

Welcome to the Desi Chin Wag Blog

DCW is here to info-tain on all desi related issues, incidents and stories.

I'm here to give you something different, an alternative look on desi culture. So stay tuned, keep it locked and keep it desi!